I Had No Idea! Pt 1

28 04 2010

   Every woman I have had the pleasure of meeting, has as little girls, dreamed of being this Martha Stewardy wife with children that she loves deeply and they love her.  I don’t remember in those trial runs with Barbies, Cabbage Patch dolls and such that there would be something called, “Postpartum Deppression”.  I for oe am usually this pretty much happy go lucky person who if you’d ask someone, could describe me as a smily, on the bright side kind of person, I Had No Idea!

  When my first was born, I was so over protective of her.  No one could kiss her, give her direct eye contact or breath her air.  Pregnancy was as joyous as eating a gravel road….don’t get me wrong it had it’s moments, but then I became picky of the things that I could ingest and keep down.  The second I had it pretty much figured out.  I studied my sickness down to the science, eat to keep from throwing up.  By the time my little … what I call “Tuga” and don’t exactly ask me how that came to be, all of a sudden I lost all this weight and was feeling good.  I thought #4 was it and I really didn’t foresee #5.

I simply suggested to my husband maybe trying for a boy, oh and by the way we had 4 girls and to my suprise this wasn’t a boy either.  So, as soon as I uttered the word “let’s have a boy..” I was instantly pregnant and gained 20lbs.   At the end of my duration, that nasty little phrase kind of pooked out at me.  Oh I hoped it would come to greet me.  Sure I heard of Brooke Sheilds having “the baby blues” and close friends and even when she got flack for taking meds.  I still wasn’t totally convinced it could happen to me.  I smiled all the time , for no reason even.

I’ve self employeed for 4yrs, lived away from family for 6yrs.  It’s still hard to get use to when you have little outlets and husband travelling.  I love my life pretty much!  I thought!  I have a supportive husband who is a great pro active father, my kids have a father, present in body and mind of the which I know nothing about.  We’re not in credit card debt or anythiong major, but it hit me like a slithering pythoon.


I Had No Idea!

28 04 2010

  I dont personally know a women who has never at child hood played house , barbies, and had a few Cabbage Patches as their “pretend” children.